Saturday, February 13, 2010

The Love Algorithm

Je t'aime - Ich liebe Dich - Te amo -Aloha wau ia 'oe

This weekend is full of love. It may be a Hallmark holiday, but that does not stop the millions maybe billions (seriously there are over 8.3 million people in NY, NY alone) of people who will buy cards, flowers, dinner, or a special gift for the 1 person they love the MOST.

Is that what it is all about? To be validated? If I get a gift on Valentine's day, that means there is someone in this crazy world who loves ME more than they love anyone else out there. Maybe it is a day for validation and not merely fabricated by industry. Or maybe it is deeper than that.

When I was younger I thought women were the only ones who wanted to be in a relationship. All the relationships I had ever been in, the guys seemed less interested in me than I did in them. I prided myself on being a great girlfriend. I was empathetic, smart, cute, funny (or so I thought ;-)), and above all was behind them 100%--sometimes blindly. But it never worked out. As I have gotten older, my view of what a good relationship is has changed. Thank God.

Maybe the guys I dated in my youth were interested in me as much as I was in them, but weren't interested in companionship. My mom always said "Boys are a little behind girls..." I thought that was a nice way of saying,"They are just not that into you honey, so move on." The patience a teenage or 20-something woman has to have is incredible. Not that I am saying to all the young gals out there, "Be patient chica, that dirt bag who treats you like a doormat...he will come around." No way. There really are some guys that are just not that into you. Sometimes, young women get a plan in their heads and don't have the patience to change that plan. They get stuck in the middle of a relationship with expectations and thoughts of how it is supposed to be; and then don't know how to change it without a) breaking up b) nagging or c) turning into a doormat. I think it is really simple. Respect. If you can respect yourself then you can respect your partner. In turn, he will respect you AND the relationship.

It could be some super duper complicated algorithm for love, maybe not...maybe it is as simple as love. Maybe we should save our money this weekend and say "I love you" AND mean it.

Fun "love" facts:
  • Other mammals that mate for life--Gibbon apes, wolves, termites, coyotes, barn owls, beavers, bald eagles, golden eagles, condors, swans, brolga cranes, French angel fish, sand-hill cranes, pigeons, prions (a seabird), red-tailed hawks, angler fish, ospreys, prairie voles (a rodent), black vultures, and some primates
  • Geoffrey Chaucer invented the modern day concept of Valentine's Day and is not directly related to the Catholic saint, St. Valentine
  • In 2009, Nikola Matovic and Kristina Reinhart of Germany established the record for the longest kiss-- 32:07:14 hrs.
  • National Retail Federation (NRF) for 2010 predicted total holiday spending for Valentine's Day will reach 14.1 billion dollars

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