Do Not Share! Explicit Photos!

I implore you, please do not share this information. If you do so, you will risk letting everyone know "The Secret Bike Truths..."

Cyclists smell. Stay at least 3 feet away.

I love riding my bike through these. Please drive very close to me so I can hit all the potholes YOUR car creates.

Neon really brings out the color of my eyes...

No we don't! We should ride our bikes on the sidewalks so we can run your kids over when they are walking to school!

I make this look good. I think I should wear a helmet all the time.

Please honk at me repeatedly so I know you are about to run me off the road. 

What???

No, honestly your road rage and your need to get to your destination 8 seconds faster is WAY more important than my life.

Please do not share this with anyone. Especially friends and family who don't own a bike and only own a car. Those people should never know the cyclist code. If you can't keep this to yourself, please do it for my children. They really want to be orphans.

Sincerly yours,
Heather Sarcastic Sweet